lining the government's wallet with pollen

I've had a lot of inane post ideas running around in my head, but I can't seem to concentrate long enough to flesh out something cohesive, so it's smorgasbord time.

I did a considerable amount of painting over the weekend. I can't say just how much because a certain monkey might be reading this, and I want him to think that his living room will be still be red when he comes back from Portugal. I've done my fair share of painting in the last 5 years. I've even come close to starting my own business, but there are a few things that have always held me back. One of them is my unflagging desire to prevent myself from committing to anything at which I may actually succeed. Other more tangible reasons include things like licensure and the environmental impact. Then again, the environmental impact of my last paper-pushing job is probably just as severe. If I really want to work in a green career field I might have to move to Colorado and become a squirrel therapist. It's hard watching other squirrels get all the good nuts.

This week's task list also included finding out just how far I'm going to have to bend over for Uncle Sam. I always wait until the last minute to do my taxes because I'm paralyzed by the fear of screwing them up were I to try them myself. Every year around the 13th of April, I head to H & R Block where some nice old man named Warren does them for me. I liked Warren. He only chided me a little bit when I told him 2 years in a row that I wasn't contributing to my 401(k)(back in the sock days). This year I decided to do my own taxes and hope that the IRS agents who storm my apartment will be allergic to cats. I might be able to sneak out if they all go into anaphylactic shock. Or maybe I should purchase a bee hive in the hopes that they're more allergic to bees than they are to cats. All joking aside, I did my taxes last night and the results weren't as damaging as I expected. My brief stint as an independent contracting massage therapist resulted in owing some money, but I've had worse years. Now I can just sit back with my honeybees and wait for the government to hand out my rebate, which I will most definitely NOT be using to stimulate anyone's economy but my own.

I rode my bike to work today for the first time since the dreaded pinched nerve. I'd forgotten how much I like the 3.5 mile ride from my apartment through the affluent neighborhoods surrounding Emory University. The landscaping budgets of these homeowners is probably greater than my yearly salary. Yet again, it begs the question of: is it worth saving $50 a month to give up my parking pass. I've been working from home about 70% of the time for the last several weeks because of a data entry project that requires little more than thumbs and an internet connection. I'm not even sure it requires thumbs. I can't say for sure that I'll be able to keep up this dreamy (mind-numbing) schedule for the duration of our Atlanta tour. My boss is flexible, but I'm not sure she'd go for "I'm sorry, I can't ride my bike in this weather so I'm not going to make it in for our meeting today." There are alternatives of course, but they're time consuming and involve the wholly unreliable Atlanta mass transit system.

Maybe if I had a milkshake the answer would come to me...