the D word

Feeling a little lost for words this evening. It's Friday (or as I like to call it fried-day because by Friday night, the synapses are firing a little slower and the dark circles are a little bit bigger). Someone in my family died today. Well, really last night, but he wasn't discovered until this afternoon after not responding to phone calls. I have an acquaintance who lost his partner of 10 years to a sudden medical event (a few months ago). I have another friend who's navigating the simultaneous and sudden decline in both of her parents' health. As I think about it, I realize this list could go on for quite awhile. It's crazy how so much gloom can coexist with so much beauty, but such is the way of opposing forces. I can feel the cliches and platitudes right around the corner, so it's best to just get to the completely unrelated haiku. I tried to come up with something more poignant, but I'm giving up and calling it a day. 

is she trying to 

squash a bug between her teeth? 

no, she's chewing gum 

picture: a village church on Ilha Grande, an island off the coast of Rio, Brazil, September 2012, cross-processed film, Agfa Optima  

impossible anniversary

A year ago today, Claudia Emerson passed away. I'm not sure how to write this, and I want it to be as incredible as she was, but I could work on this post for months and never get there. So I will settle for whatever comes out. She was a beloved college professor of mine who entered my life at a time when I needed her humor, her high standards, and her presence. She was the kind of person who asked "how are you?" and then waited for the real answer instead of walking past before you've finished saying "fine." We met for coffee several times after I graduated, and each time, she greeted me like a friend even though years had passed between visits. A few years ago we became Facebook friends, which created the illusion of closeness and made her passing all the more devastating. There are beautiful tributes written by people who are far more qualified. To save us all (you 3 people who read my dormant blog) from my sentimental ramblings, I will close with 3 haikus (that I also feel compelled to fuss with and am somewhat embarrassed to post, but this month-long exercise is about consistency, not quality).

structured and playful
wide smile generous with praise
billy goat at heart

//

I used to show up
at your door with no purpose
but to hear you laugh

//

workshops and first drafts
intrigue scrawled in the margins
don't you dare be late

today's picture is of the Bell Isle Pedestrian Bridge crossing the James River, taken before attending her memorial service on December 11, 2014, iPhone