only the essentials

There's a concept in a guided meditation by Dr. Ann Webster* that I've been interested in lately. She advises listeners to only keep the tension that they feel is necessary and to let go of the rest. I'd never heard anyone give permission to maintain tension. If you think about it though, we need a certain amount of tension to function, whether that tension comes in the physical form (musculoskeletal requirements to move) or emotional (healthy conflict that leads to better relationships or stress that precipitates action, etc). I've started to take note of where the excess tension is in my life. There's a ton of physical tension. Holding my muscles more rigidly than necessary during a run, scrunching at the trunk while I sit on the couch, clenching my jaw, the list goes on. Then there's the surplus of interpersonal and emotional strain. The anxiety spin. The blame game. The second guessing. The preemptive moaning and groaning about whatever X person is going to say or do in Y situation. On and on I could go, but there are homemade pizzas to be made and banjos to be practiced. I've decided that keeping this blog rolling is a tension that I should hold on to. It's stressful, and frankly, kind of aggravating, and it's unclear who's even out there. But I have to remind myself that I'm not doing it for you (sorry). I'm doing it for me as a way to play around with words and images and get outside the hum-drum everyday box to gain perspective. So my NEW goal is to post a haiku a day for the next year. This might be easier said than done if we take a trip that mucks around with internet access, but we will see how close I can get. In the meantime, here are the last additions to the December project:

some days I muddle
through the process wondering
what's the point of this?

//

without it you flop
and wobble, but only keep
the tension you need

//

do you need that vice
grip to avoid danger or
can you let it go?


*I first encountered Dr. Webster when I attended a mind/body conference held at Harvard Medical School. I recommend her guided meditations. I feel like I can focus better with the help of someone's voice.

picture: clothesline during sunset after a torrential downpour, near Kennett Square, PA, July 2013, film, Canon Tlb 

reindeer poop

This definitely won't be the highlight of my month of haikus, but it's done and that's what counts. A brief rendition of Christmas:

Ring around the moon
Belly full of gluten and
We all fall asleep

picture: the moon, the Laurentian mountains, Canada, July 2010, cross-processed slide film, Canon Tlb 

the land before the new york times

The other night at a dinner party, a friend asked me if I wanted to borrow a book, and instead of reflexively saying yes! which I am wont to do whenever this friend recommends a book, I respectfully declined because I actually have too many other things to read right now. When I revealed that those other things included 2 weeks worth of old newspapers, someone else scoffed and said "why? they're irrelevant!" (here's a tip: if you want to make people feel good about themselves and enjoy spending time with you, don't tell them their goals are irrelevant)

You know what? I don't read the news every day. I don't even read the news every other day. Those 2 weeks of newspapers are actually really informative for me, and I have no intention of pitching them into the recycling bin unread. I understand if all of you horrified news hounds decide to leave this blog in the dust and move on to more informed pastures.

All of this is to say that I am instituting Screen Free Sundays in an effort to avoid piles of blue plastic bags filled with prehistoric information. No blog reading. No blog posting. No email checking. No work hub checking. No picture posting. Nothing. Nada. Analog only, with the exception of using my phone, which now has a pretty sizable screen because I finally upgraded to a smartphone, and my ipod because life with a soundtrack is just more enjoyable sometimes.