Wednesday, June 18, 2008

ring around the fridge

I was just in the kitchen pouring myself a nalgene of water from our ice cold Brita that came from our brand new ice cold fridge. The sound of the water made me realize I was overdue for my own water expulsion, something I classified as "loin nectar" on one of our dog walking trips. Now, I like to condense movements when I'm doing things around the house. It's a fun little game that I pretend is related to "behavioral economics," but which I'm pretty sure is just a manifestation of a mild case of obsessive-compulsive disorder. So as I waited for the Brita to refill, I went through a mental play-by-play of my next moves, much like this (in a run-on format, just the way it limped through my dehydrated, sleep deprived brain):

okay, so I'll take my nalgene into the bathroom with me because I don't want to have to come back into the kitchen, because I could forget to get my nalgene on my way back to the living room, which means I'd have to get up from the couch to come back into the kitchen, which I might not do because I'm so lazy that I waited over an hour to get up and use the bathroom in the first place. When I get back to the couch, I'll write a new post about how the maintenance guys came yesterday and gave us a new fridge, but they did it while we were not home, so everything was moved around when they put all of the food back into the new fridge, which screws up my ENTIRE system of efficiently getting things in/out of the fridge because I have to go rooting around for things that are on the wrong shelf and then when I put stuff back into the fridge I have to figure out whether to reassign the item to it's former imposter position or take the time to shift things around so that I eventually, item by item, get the fridge back in "order."

By this point the Brita is full, and I've put ice cubes in my water, so I'm ready for the next step (loin nectar). I pick up the Brita pitcher, and, with great intent, walk towards the bathroom.

Clearly, I have a few problems to work out. Here they are in bullet format:
  • I have a photographic memory AND a compulsion to keep the contents of the fridge in the same place at all times, also known as the "put it back where you found it" method. It's not original. My mother does the same thing and we like to commiserate about how no one GETS IT.
  • I'm functioning on about 4 hours of sleep, which apparently translates into taking water pitchers to the bathroom.

  • I haven't posted in 10 days, and I feel rusty.

  • I found an open safety pin in my pocket this afternoon. The hard way.
It might be time for a 10 hour nap.

3 comments:

Steve said...

My favorite thing about this post is the specificity of the nouns: a nalgene of water from the Brita, for example.

And "loin nectar," too, of course.

ester said...

at least your neuroses are funny!

elsabelle said...

omgomgomg. i just love you.