Thursday, August 26, 2010


official party mascot

I am 30 years old today. As of 10:03 am (or possibly 10:33am; my mom can't remember which time is mine and which time is my brother's, but she claims I'm the early one). I could regale you with the ways in which I feel less than prepared for this age, but instead, I'm going to provide you with a list. There is no point to this list except that it has 30 items and they are mostly about me. It is not random (oh how I hate the overuse of the word random), but it might be amusing.

1. I hate warm cookies.
2. I have tipped over while standing at a curb with my bicycle. There were children nearby, but they didn't laugh at me.
3. if you baked me an apple pie, I wouldn't eat it, but I would appreciate the gesture.
4. last night I had a bad dream about throwing up, and when I woke up I was afraid that I'd actually vomited.
5. I cry when I laugh really hard.
6. my brother, my dad, and I all have the birthdays that are different dates but end up being the same day of the week (i.e. all of our birthdays are on thursday this year)
7. I once made my brother wear a dress. there are pictures.
8. he once made me sit on a red ant hill. there are no pictures, but now I really hate ants.
9. I made a kite in summer school one year and now whenever I see wooden dowels at the hardware store all I can think about are kites.
10. when I was in 4th grade I used to stay after school and help out in the library because I thought it was fun.
11. I used to own a Bart Simpson skate board.
12. I'm beginning to get bored with my list. Are you?
13. My mom's favorite numbers are 7 and 13. When my brother and I were younger, she would ask us to pick a number between 1 & 20 when we wanted something. her number was always 7 or 13.
14. I could probably eat 14 oatmeal chocolate chip cookies in one sitting, but not if they're warm.
15. Maybe I shouldn't have picked 30 items. I'm only halfway there.
16. I used to eat butter. One time when I was around 4 years old my entire family was out washing the car, and I was in the kitchen stealing bites from a stick of butter.
17. I went to band camp.
18. And I played the flute.
19. But senior year of high school, I switched to a brass instrument.
20. Sometimes I like to play a game where you spell a word backwards and I tell you what word it is.
21. I'm terrible at crossword puzzles.
22. If I had to sound out the letters of my nickname in german it would be "yotta yotta"
23. I like to make to do lists with little checkboxes.
24. I drink out of the same coffee mug every day. I rinse it out when I'm done, but I only wash it about once a week. I just found out that my dad does the same thing.
25. I've thrown up on one of my friends before. Sorry about that.
26. I almost failed chemistry in college.
27. I used to request the following as my birthday dinner: barbecued chicken legs, mashed potatoes, and green peas. Then I would mix the peas and the mashed potatoes together. For dessert: yellow cake with chocolate frosting and ice cream on the side. always on the side. never ON the cake.
28. Have you ever tried to write a list of 30 things? I don't recommend it.
29. I hate the word "stinky"
30. The faint smell of dog treats is wafting up from my shorts pocket, and it's making me kind of nauseated.

Rest assured, I won't do that again. Nor will I turn 30 again. Ah, symmetry.


Jon Konrath said...

Sorry, you completely lost me at #1. Blasphemy.

Happy birthday! I remember the exact moment turning 30 - was by myself at Circus Circus in Vegas, had been up all night, playing casino War, and was up by about $600. I'm not a gambler and have never won money like that, but it only happens once.

Also hope you don't mind if I swipe this idea - I have a 40-item list that I'm dreading coming up in January.

herding tapeworms said...

i know, i know, the cookie thing baffles 97% of the world.

maybe you should try gambling on your decade birthdays. could be something to it.

by all means, swipe away. i look forward to reading the 40 items.

Unknown said...

how about cold cookies?

herding tapeworms said...

cold cookies are great. cold oatmeal chocolate chip cookies are heaven.

eje said...

#31: Before we knew you, you were referred to by more than one person I know as "eye candy"

that was your birthday embarrassment. your welcome.