hurry up and wait

Good grief it is effing frigid outside. Between that and the news of my grandfather's impending death, today has been a brain scramble. Charrow and I said fuck it, and went out for fancy cheeseburgers (at moderately affordable happy hour prices) and beer (well I ordered the beer and charrow sipped at it because she doesn't really like beer). Sometimes you just have to throw yourself off the wagon to feel the bumps. And now I'm ready for bed. Here's the short version:

they say you will feel
warmer if you don't tense up
what a bunch of crap*

//

when life hands you crap
ball it up and throw that shit
right into life's face

*sometimes this works, but not when there's a wind chill of 6 degrees (F).

picture: part of a manhole cover, Brooklyn, NY, Tuesday (the day of never-ending errands), iPhone 

show up

Well, I'm home from the funeral marathon. Three different events across three days, which was a lot for me, so I can't even imagine how the immediate family must feel. The services were all in Ukranian, so I spent a lot of time watching the attendees and trying to catch the emotion of what was being said, but I had little clue as to what was actually happening. It's more about showing up than understanding the language. Today's service took place in a beautiful Ukrainian church that is built out of wood without the use of nails (so I've been told - I'm skeptical). At any rate, it's amazing, and oh so effing cold. My feet STILL haven't warmed up from sitting there for 90 minutes listening to the singing and watching the priest toss around burning ashes in a ceremonial metal holder that I'm sure has a name. The light in the church is incredible. There are small windows towards the ceiling that let in huge diagonal streams of light. Sadly, the light wasn't enough to keep anyone warm.

Now back to life on animal planet in which the cats roam around while the dog is gone and then he comes barging in the door from his evening walk yodeling because the orange cat didn't scramble out of the kitchen quite fast enough. And now for the short form:

cold toes and running
noses, crumpled tissues and
questions of what's next

picture: headstones at Greenwood Cemetery, Brooklyn, NY, fall 2011, film, Canon Tlb 

white rain

Death always seems like a horrible practical joke. Like the deceased will burst out of a closet and yell GOTCHA. There's something so unbelievable about it; something that just doesn't compute. But it's real, and it doesn't matter whether you can make sense of it. Shit happens anyway. We're headed to the wake in a few minutes, so in the interest of time, here's the short version of today so far:

sky thick with flurries
until the sun came along
and made the trees shine

...a little cheese to go with the grilled cheese sandwich I plan to have for dinner (suburban gourmet).

picture: a snowy walk through the Brooklyn Botanic Garden, Brooklyn, NY, January 2011, film, Ricoh  rangefinder